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The Week’s Most Black Scottish Laird, Trump Talking Merde, and Calling Charlie a Turd Headlines

TRANSLATING TRUMP
With people being canceled left, right, and center (well, mainly just left) for spewing forth tasteless, gloating jibes over the death of Charlie Kirk, we have all been warned to be very careful with our words this week—by President Donald Trump.

Trump has launched a new lawsuit against The New York Times seeking $15 billion in damages from the lying left-wing hate sheet for…something. Examining the public post via which POTUS announced his action, it is hard to tell precisely just what he is suing the NYT for, despite the message being several hundred words long and apparently written in English. Beyond the ultra-generic fact that it is a “Defamation and Libel Lawsuit,” and that the NYT has been “lying about your Favorite President (ME!),” most readers will be left none the wiser.

Yet Trump thinks he is a master of the language nonetheless, boasting vaingloriously (that means with excessive pride, Donald) that: “I’m very highly educated. I know words. I know the best words. But there’s no better word than stupid.” How about words like “bigly” and “covfefe”? This is a man who once accused Joe Biden of funding genetic research into “transgender mice” because he didn’t understand what the word “transgenic” meant.

“Phrases like ‘Grab them by the pussy’ are genuinely untranslatable en français, at least when referring to Brigitte Macron.”

Despite being the very reverse of sesquipedalian (using bigly long words unnecessarily—bigly long words like “sesquipedalian”), like so many babbling toddlers Trump can often be disarmingly difficult to understand, as in utterances like the following from only last month:

“Do you know, like everything else, grass has a life, do you know that? Grass has a life! We have a life, and grass has a life. I’m very good at grass…. I know more about grass than any human being, I think, anywhere in the world.”

Probably because he’s been smoking it.

Trump has more common sense than any President since Nixon, and the least capacity to express any of it since Woodrow Wilson had his stroke. Pity, therefore, the poor translators of his gabbling into foreign languages—particularly the noble tongue of French, into which the President is apparently particularly hard to render intelligible. Phrases like “Grab them by the pussy” are genuinely untranslatable en français, at least when referring to Brigitte Macron. That is why France has just launched what has been called a “crass course” in Trump-Talk for diplomats and journalists, who have been told to tone down difficult-to-decode Trumpisms like “kiss my ass” into “polish my shoes,” and “shithole countries” into “pays poubelles,” or “trash-can countries.”

Surely the best translation of “shithole country” nowadays is just “France” itself.

STAGE VYLANS
Maybe all leftism-infested Western nations are now pays poubelles, at least to judge by the widespread vomity liberal reaction to Charlie Kirk’s homicide. Vice President JD Vance, while kindly “guest-hosting” an edition of Charlie’s podcast (we don’t think the usual host will actually be returning, JD…), exhorted citizens to inform on those dissing Kirk’s still-warm corpse to their employers to get them sacked. No need. Some gleeful libtards were so proud of their bile they were happy to deliver it live on stage.

Black “English” rap duo Bob Vylan launched a tirade against Kirk during a gig in Amsterdam, with lead howler Bobby Vylan going so far as to dedicate one of his songs to “an absolute piece of shit of a human being.” It’s a little immodest to dedicate a song to oneself, isn’t it, Bobby? “If you talk shit you will get banged,” as in shot in the head, Bobby continued, before asking, “Are there any snipers in the room?” Sadly, there were not.

Another all-time master of the English language, Bobby further inventively punned “Rest in piss, Charlie Kirk, you piece of shit,” before accusing Charlie of now possessing “the pronouns was/were.” “Was” and “were” aren’t even pronouns. As even Donald “I know words” Trump would recognize, they’re generally considered to function as mere auxiliary verbs, as in the sentence “Bob Vylan were due to play further concerts in Holland, but this plan was subsequently canceled after venues heard what the pair of daft punks had just said and got cold feet.” Seeing their career about to go down the pan faster than Charlie’s scatologically defamed ashes, Bobby Vylan hurriedly denied he had insulted Kirk’s memory at all:

“At no point during yesterday’s show was Charlie Kirk’s death celebrated. At no point whatsoever did we celebrate Charlie Kirk’s death. I did call him a piece of shit. That much is true. But at no point was his death celebrated. If it was, go find me a quote, go find me something that proves that we were celebrating his death.”

How about absolutely all of the above quotes, every last one of them? Just to reiterate, “At no point” did Bobby celebrate Kirk’s killing, although “I did call him a piece of shit.” His music career hopefully now over, we’d love to see Bobby’s alternative stagecraft take on Marc Antony:

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears;
I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.
The piece of shit.

If Bobby Vylan called Charlie Kirk a piece of shit, but then claims this was not an insult, the only logical conclusion can be that Bobby actually likes pieces of shit. Maybe he’s a coprophile. Or maybe, as implied earlier, he really is just in love with himself.

ADDING INSULT TO FATAL INJURY
Bobby Vylan wasn’t the only prominent Kirk-bashing media turd out there last week, a substantial proportion of whom shared the rough general skin color of such items. Black opinion columnist Karen Attiah was fired from her post at The Washington Post for a social media post, posthaste, once her employers realized she had just become a poster girl for hate before the results of Charlie’s posthumous postmortem had even been posted. (Master of Words Donald Trump wrote that last sentence for us, in true postmodern fashion.)

“Part of what keeps America so violent,” Karen complained, was “the insistence that people perform care, empty goodness and absolution for white men who espouse hatred and violence.” Some may say a rather larger part of what “keeps America so violent” are lunatic far-left transgender ideologues who can’t stand being told the truth about their obvious mental illnesses in public, but still Attiah refused to weep, declaring how she would not “tear my clothes” or “smear ashes on my face in performative mourning for a white man.” If you did “smear ashes” on your face, would anyone even notice? It would be like Bobby Vylan rubbing himself down with one of those turds he loves so much instead of shaving foam one morning. If Al Jolson had already been black when he slapped that boot polish on, he wouldn’t have had much of a career, would he?

Another of Attiah’s post-assassination comments complained how “They [whites] will not only still kill black people, but they will make the killers rich and famous.” But Charlie Kirk was white, not black, so who was the black person who had even just been killed here at all…?

So racially confused did Karen Attiah appear to be that another of her previous tweets was found to contain the almost Trumpian-level internal incoherence that, due to their long past of constant racist evil, white women were “lucky” that black women were “just calling them Karens and not calling for revenge.” So said the black woman CALLED KAREN.

The specific dredged-up old quote from Charlie Kirk’s own past that Black Karen seemed to most object to was his disgraceful former assertion that “Black women do not have the brain-processing power to be taken seriously.” Very good of her to come right out and prove it.

STAR TREK: THE NEXT DEGENERATION
Also generously demonstrating this very same fact was Gina Yashere, a “black British comedienne” (fun game: Which of those three defining words inside the quotation marks is actually true?) who hoped Charlie was going to burn in hell because of his long-supposed prior role in “preaching something that is directly going to get me eradicated on the streets.” Once again, a white man is shot dead, and a live black woman thinks that she is the true victim here.

A proud unfunny fat black lesbian, Yashere has just gotten her big break with a role in a new upcoming Star Trek series, in which a CGI-grafted image of her vagina will be making a starring appearance on every Klingon’s forehead.

It was this same unfunny fat black lesbianism that had forced Gina to flee from Britain to America in the first place, she explained: “I’d never come out publicly in England, because I didn’t want to give them something else to box me in.”

Not even a coffin? Surely “dead” black people like Gina, “eradicated” in the street by the deadly killer words of Charlie Kirk, could do with one of those?

EVERYBODY MUST GET STONED
Some white leftists slandered Charlie’s memory this week, too, most prominently another master wordsmith/turdsmith (critical opinions differ), horror novelist Stephen King, who erroneously claimed that Kirk “advocated stoning gays to death,” even though he didn’t.

Far worse was leading gaybo publication The Advocate, which ran a whole hit job detailing absurd past claims Kirk had supposedly made about homosexuals, including that “Trans people are to blame for inflation” (he said no such thing, it was just a figurative metaphor—unless he was talking about penis pumps as opposed to printing money). Kirk really did advise that the Dr. Mxngeles of the trans medical movement should face “a Nuremberg-style trial” and accused transgenderists of being “a throbbing middle finger to God,” though.

But if it was “throbbing,” and on a tranny, it probably wasn’t a middle finger at all…

TEXAS CHAIN-STORE MASSACRE
If queers really fear getting stoned to death, they’d better not visit Texas, where Gov. Greg Abbott has now felt the need to explicitly ban sharia law, the religious execution of homos included.

This came after radical Muslims, led by ginger-bearded imam F. Qasim ibn Ali Khan, marched around bothering Muslim store-owners in the state as part of a so-called “Muslim Patrol” (like Paw Patrol, but more rabid), warning them they had better stop stocking haram items like alcohol, lottery tickets, and pork, and begin replacing them with more halal goods like suicide vests, opium, Kalashnikovs, scimitars, and 9-year-old child brides instead.

As Charlie Kirk once said, “Islam is the sword the left is using to slit the throat of America.” Like everywhere else other than the actual Muslim world right now, Texas has a growing Muslim population, and if things carry on down this path much longer, one day Texas really will end up as the Lone Star State—that one on the flag of Pakistan, right next to the much larger crescent moon of Muhammad.

BLACK IN TENT
Sensibly fleeing Texastan to continue enjoying sausages, booze, and gambling of late is wise young Texan black lady Kaura Taylor. Taylor has sought asylum within a Scottish wood to serve as a devoted handmaiden to King Atehene and Queen Nandi, a pair of mad Africans who claim to have been told by God that they rightfully own the whole of Caledonia, its true name being the Kingdom of Kubala. The Kubalans say they are black Wandering Jews of some kind, whose Promised Land of Scotland was stolen away from their sacred black tribe 400 years ago by evil white anti-Zionist Brits.

Living in their Black Forest inside a tent awaiting a forthcoming McPocalyptic war with Vladimir Putin and avoiding evil white vampires who want to suck out their magic melanin, Lord and Lady Blackbeth have just been evicted from their Holy Land by Scottish policemen—before immediately setting their royal tent straight back down again a few hundred yards away and establishing camp there instead.

The Kubala Khan himself, King Atehene, explained his defiance of the norms of international land-occupancy law thus:

“I heard them [the police] speak but I was only listening to the Creator who said to me ‘move to this side and praise my holy land.’ No one can stop the kingdom of Kubala…. As pilgrims this is the land that the Creator has given us. All nations and land belong to the Kingdom of Kubala. While they were calling people to check their jurisdiction we were given it by the Creator. We do not need permission or maps, for everything is given to us by the Creator.”

Hearing him spout words like that, King Atehene has just been offered a prominent position in his next war cabinet by Benjamin Netanyahu. When the Last King of Scotland first heard the shock news that a Kirk had suddenly been taken down, he probably viewed it as a good opportunity to replace it with a synagogue.