For some, the holiday season is the best time of the year. The extended family gets together for Christmas dinner. Gifts are unwrapped by the tree. Those timeless Christmas tunes that remind you of being a kid play all day long on the radio. And your glass of eggnog always seems to be full.
For others, the holidays bring about a profound sadness.
Many, especially the elderly, have little or no family to celebrate with.
In fact, a recent study shows that about 34 percent of Americans between the ages of 50 and 80 years old reported that they “felt a lack of companionship ‘some of the time’ or ‘often.’”
Imagine, then, how those afflicted with chronic loneliness feel during the holidays, when others are engaged in familial festivities, and they are isolated and devoid of companionship.
There are, however, ways in which we can help our fellow Americans feel more connected to the fabric of society.
In Edinburgh, Scotland, a community group called The Heart of Newhaven is creating robust intergenerational social connection with its knitted Christmas tree project.
The knitted tree, which stands an impressive 16-feet tall, is more than just a holiday decoration. It is a testament to the power of community.
What started off as a fundraising effort for the center (as The Heart of Newhaven is also known) blossomed into a vibrant community-building activity that brought together young and old alike. Over tea, coffee, and biscuits, Edinburgh residents of all ages began to meet regularly to knit leaves, stockings, and other ornaments for the tree. They’ve even knitted a one-of-a-kind nativity scene.
Norma Johnston, project coordinator at the Heart of Newhaven, told me that the center has become a lively community-hub: “People are meeting old friends that they haven’t seen in four or five years.”
“The pandemic robbed me of a good chunk of my life, because now, at my age, I’m counting my lifespan in months instead of years,” a 93 year-old woman told Norma. Ever since they’ve started the knitted tree project, though, the elderly woman, who seldom goes out on her own, now routinely takes the bus to the center so she can participate in the knitting. “That was a huge step for her,” Norma told me, “and there’s lots of people like that.”
The center, with its warm atmosphere, hospitality, and unique programming, has become a much-needed escape from the loneliness of life: “Now that they have somewhere to come to, they’re not starting the holiday season off with this continual sadness.”
What’s more, the elderly there, aside from benefiting from social connection, are reminded that they still have so much skill, experience, and wisdom to impart onto younger generations.
Norma told me that one 90-year-old woman has taken it upon herself to teach the young people how to knit. At first, you have someone who has never knitted before. But before long, with a little guidance from a veteran knitter, “the needles are clacking away.”
Those involved probably aren’t thinking about how they are combating loneliness and facilitating intergenerational social connection. I’m sure they’re just having fun, with the aid of some hot tea and homemade cake. But in fact, these community members are accomplishing something remarkable. They are showing the world that loneliness does in fact have a cure.
Still, the fight against loneliness can be an arduous one. It will, first and foremost, require you to step into uncertain territory. People today have become so accustomed to atomization that they are threatened by neighborly community initiatives.
In a piece for Front Porch Republic, David Uhlman writes about the time he organized a chili cook-off upon moving to his new South Carolina home. He did this with the intention of introducing himself to his neighbors and cultivating a sense of community. The reaction from locals was skepticism and bewilderment: “The resistance against disrupting isolation was palpable.” Soon, though, neighbors began to gather around the Uhlmans’ residence, chatting and tasting different chili dishes. David’s plan worked.
When I asked Norma what advice she would give to people interested in starting their own community group, she said, “Whatever you start, start it with a smile.”