When a natural disaster hits, suddenly everyone is an environmentalist or climate scientist. When the U.S. strikes a nuclear site in Iran, suddenly everyone is a master of military reconnaissance or a foreign-policy strategist. And when a wife becomes a widow following a political assassination, suddenly everyone is an expert on grief.

The internet is a toxic place, lately filled with many opinions about how Erika Kirk should be mourning the murder of her husband, Charlie Kirk. As someone who lost her dad to cancer a few years ago, I know that healing is not linear. Reminiscing on memories with friends and family one day, paralyzed with sadness the next. Erika Kirk has come under unfair scrutiny for the way in which she has put one foot in front of the other following unthinkable tragedy.

Check out my recent video on the ghoulishly clinical response to Erika Kirk’s public appearances.