The United Kingdom continues developing ridiculous justifications for preventing deportations — including for criminals who have been convicted of serious offenses.

While the Department of Homeland Security in the United States is incentivizing illegal aliens to “voluntarily self-deport,” the United Kingdom continues developing ridiculous justifications for preventing deportations — including for criminals who have been convicted of serious offenses. Here’s a short list of people who have won their claims to stay in the United Kingdom with laughable arguments, ranging from the looming threat of a mean stepmother to having a son who is a picky eater. 

1. A man seeking asylum from Tajikistan won his appeal to remain in the country because he argued that his beard would be forcibly shaven off if he returned home.

1. An Albanian criminal was allowed to stay in part because the court ruled it would be “unduly harsh” to also deport his child who has “sensory needs,” such as disliking the chicken nuggets abroad. 

1. A drug user from Afghanistan was allowed to stay because the judge ruled that the Taliban treats addicts harshly, and the man “could be imprisoned and forced to go cold turkey.”

1. A Sri Lankan couple in their 60s was permitted to remain because the medical care for the man’s depression, severe anxiety, high blood pressure, and diabetes at home is “inadequate.”

1. A Kosovan cocaine dealer who illegally came to the United Kingdom was not deported after the judge ruled it would be “unduly harsh” on his one-year-old daughter because she is too young to participate in video calls. 

1. A Pakistani pedophile who was jailed for sexually assaulting a girl under age 13 and was also convicted of beating his wife was allowed to stay because he is an alcoholic. Due to his “uncontrollable alcohol consumption,” the asylum tribunal ruled he would likely end up in jail at home where alcohol is illegal, and face “inhuman or degrading treatment.”

1. A Pakistani drug dealer who had been charged with 21 offenses since arriving in 1998 and spent four years in jail for drug possession with intent to supply was spared deportation because the judge ruled the man could teach his son about Islam and Pakistani culture, which are “‘fundamental” to the boy’s “identity.”

1. A Nigerian man who conned women out of nearly £200,000 was spared deportation because it would be “unduly harsh” on his wife and children who rely on the NHS for medical care.

1. Two leaders of a “grooming gang” in Rochdale have remained in the country because they renounced their citizenship and Pakistan has refused to accept them. 

1. An Albanian man with almost 50 convictions, including burglary and theft, was allowed to stay because the judge said his crimes were not of a “very extreme” nature that would cause “deep public revulsion.” 

1. An Albanian man avoided deportation because the judge decided it would be “unduly harsh” on his 15-year-old stepson, who has “experienced abandonment before.” 

1. An Afghan sex offender who was jailed for twelve weeks was spared deportation and instead awarded refugee status because the judge agreed with the lawyers that his “risky behavior” would render him subject to “ill treatment” and possibly “mob violence” at home. 

1. A Pakistani pedophile who was sentenced to 18 months in jail for preying on “barely pubescent girls” was allowed to remain in the United Kingdom because the judge concluded that it would be “unduly harsh for [his] children to be without their father.”

1. A Nigerian man who was sentenced for committing an armed robbery at a brothel and later for supplying crack cocaine was spared deportation because he has mental-health issues that cause him to “hear voices all the time,” which the judge ruled would be considered demonic possession in the man’s native country. 

1. A Nigerian father who was sentenced to seven years behind bars for theft of Covid-19 loans was allowed to stay in the United Kingdom because two of his children have autism and “additional needs.”

1. A Somali alcoholic criminal who sought asylum was permitted to remain because the judge ruled his mental health would “seriously deteriorate” upon returning home. 

1. A Jamaican man who was convicted of rape dodged deportation because he is “bisexual,” and the judge reasoned that he would face maltreatment back home due to the “embedded nature of anti-gay and LGBTQI+ attitudes in Jamaica.”

1. A Somali man convicted of rape was allowed to remain in the United Kingdom after serving his ten-year prison sentence. Once released from prison, he raped two more women and was sent back to prison; his lawyer defended him by arguing that “he had a lack of understanding of what is acceptable in the U.K.”

1. A Guinean man who sought asylum was found to not be responsible for obtaining a fraudulent visa and passport, and the judge allowed him to stay because he would face punishment for running away and disobeying his stepmother. 

1. An Eritrean sex offender who raped a teenage girl was not sent home because he dodged military conscription and might face punishment upon return, and because he might not receive proper treatment there for PTSD and depression.