Mere minutes ago, new White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt opened her press briefing by revealing the truth — in the form of a statement directly from President Trump himself, relayed verbally to her in the Oval Office — about the story that consumed American media for a week back in mid-December: the mysterious drone invasion of New Jersey. And we have been given an answer to the mystery: “After research and study, the drones that were flying over New Jersey in large numbers were authorized to be flown by the FAA for research and various and other reasons. Many of these drones were also hobbyists, recreational and private individuals that enjoy flying drones. In time it got worse due to curiosity. This was not the enemy.”

Like any childhood fan of The X-Files, my reaction to that, of course, is “LOL, you expect me to trust the government?” Trust no one! The truth is out there. Why won’t these cowards simply admit that we made first contact with the Vulcans years ago?

In all honesty, though, there’s a reason I never wrote about the subject last month: It was transparently obvious — or so I thought — that the drones had to have been approved by the federal government, given the the fact that (1) they never once crossed over into restricted space, as foreign or (sorry folks, they don’t exist) alien drones likely would; (2) they all had warning lights on them. The second, in particular, was a dead giveaway. I’m amazed at how it seemingly never occurs to people that enemy drones don’t announce their presence, for rather obvious reasons. (When China spies on our military installations via drone, I can assure you their methods are not OSHA- and FAA- compliant.) But it’s another little feather in Trump’s cap, and the only question left dangling is: Why couldn’t the Biden administration have awoken from its slumber to tell America this last month? Unless part of the research being undertaken was to discover how the rest of America would react to a mysterious swarm of drones, that is.