California State University, Sacramento officially divested from Israel, student activists lauded on Wednesday, and the university is the first in California to “agree to all student demands.” This, folx, is what winning looks like: a bunch of blue-haired chums in keffiyehs cheering in triumph, lit by the dim glow of their encampment’s string-lights. You can almost taste the sour smell of disappointment as they realize that their encampment has fulfilled its purpose. The party must end. What next for the freaks?

Well, they might want to read the fine print. Sac State confirmed in its statement that it would not make direct investments in companies that “profit from genocide, ethnic cleansing, and activities that violate fundamental human rights.” Currently, the university has no direct investments that conflict with that statement, it said:

California State University, Sacramento directs its auxiliaries, including the University Foundation at Sacramento State (UFSS), to investigate socially responsible investment strategies which include not having direct investments in corporations and funds that profit from genocide, ethnic cleansing, and activities that violate fundamental human rights. Currently, UFSS does not have any direct investments in these areas. Nevertheless, the University further directs the Finance Committee of UFSS and other auxiliaries to ensure that the University’s investment portfolios remain free of such direct investments. UFSS and other campus auxiliaries are also directed to investigate a socially responsible stance for indirect investments (e.g., index funds, mutual funds). With this stance, the UFSS and other auxiliaries are directed to benchmark these investments with a goal toward limiting them to no more than de minimis in nature. This shall encompass a process of annual review and ongoing monitoring of holdings. We will pursue human rights-based approach to investments.

This is what winning looks like? A promise from administration to “investigate a socially responsible stance” and adhere to an “annual review” and “human rights-based approach to investments?” If I were a social-justice warrior hell-bent on destroying Israel, a statement that basically says, “Look! We totally agree and there was nothing to worry about in the first place,” wouldn’t cut it.

But apparently it’s good enough for the idiots in Sac State’s Popular University for Gaza Encampment, who celebrated the “win” on Instagram: “Sacramento State has officially divested and will stop using our tuition money to fund genocide. . . . Sacramento State currently has no direct investments in companies with ties to Israel or the military. However, they do have indirect investments, which will be divested immediately. Additionally, we have successfully secured the appointment of a faculty member from Faculty for Justice in Palestine to sit on the finance committee, ensuring that investments remain ethical every year.”

One giant leap for collective liberation. Congratulations, comrades, on your victory — you’ve done your part, and the victims of the genocide that you claim is happening are grateful. ‘Til next time.