Excuse me, sir? Some attention, please: New Jersey Senator Cory Booker is currently speaking, and he would like you to know this. He has been talking on the floor of the Senate for the last 18 hours straight, in what is not an attempt at a filibuster per se, just a really long speech. I do not know why he is talking. You do not know why he is talking. He does not know why he is talking. The media are indifferent as to why he is talking.

I will not bother to check to find out why he is talking, either — I assume he is upset about the Trump administration, and I am disappointed at the lack of details on his past “relationship” with Rosario Dawson — but I am giving him this headline and acknowledging the bare fact that the man is speaking in print, in the hope that he will now stop talking. Put it in writing like the rest of us, Cory — where we can safely ignore it.