Phil Klein has offered up his NFL wild card predictions. I’m still grieving the Jaguars’ collapse, but, for some reason, this has manifested itself less in a desire to avoid football altogether than in an inability to think about anything else. So, in the spirit of ongoing catharsis, I think I’ll add my picks here, too. Like Phil, I’m ignoring the spread.
Browns @ Texans
This is the game I care about the most, because I hate the Texans and do not think they should be in the playoffs. That’s not a knock on C. J. Stroud, who is a legitimate talent and will be a force in the AFC South for a decade to come. Rather, it’s the product of my having watched a lot of Texans games this year in the hope that they would lose, and having seen them win in the last minute despite themselves. Bottom line: They’ve been lucky. Unfortunately for me, I suspect that they’ll continue to be lucky until they meet a team that is obviously superior, and, their impressive record notwithstanding, I’m not sure that the Browns are that team. Winner: Texans, by a hair.
Dolphins @ Chiefs
When the two teams played this year in Germany, it was a game of two halves. The Chiefs dominated the first half; the Dolphins dominated the second. In that game, the Chiefs came away with the win, but it was close, and most of the Dolphins problems were self-inflicted. I’m not especially impressed by the Chiefs this year, but, from what I’ve seen of them, they’re still more able to find a way to win in difficult circumstances than are the Dolphins, who seem flaky. Add in the weather, and I think the Chiefs will grind it out. Winner: Chiefs.
Steelers @ Bills
The greatest attribute a team can have in the playoffs is getting hot at the right time. Having fired their offensive coordinator halfway through the season, the Bills have massively improved and are hot at the right time. In fact, the Bills have started to look like the team that many people thought they would be at the start of the year. The Steelers, by contrast, are average, and they don’t have a settled QB. I cannot imagine the Bills losing this game. Winner: Bills.
Eagles @ Bucs
The Eagles and the Jaguars ended the season in almost identical fashion. Starting in December, both of those teams lost five of their last six, and could not get out of their own way for love nor money. The difference between the teams was that the Eagles had racked up enough wins at the start of the year to make it into the playoffs anyway, and the Jaguars had not. On paper, the Eagles should win this game, but slides tend to happen for a reason, and when they last more than a couple of weeks, they can be notoriously hard to stop. Of all the wild card games on offer, I think this one is the most difficult to predict. On balance, I’m still taking the Eagles, but I’m really not sure. Winner: Eagles.
Rams @ Lions
The Lions are a gritty team and they’ve been persuasive since the first day of the season, on which they beat the Chiefs in Kansas City. This year, the Lions won their first division title since 1993, and the expectations are high. The Lions haven’t won a playoff game since 1991, and, along with the Texans, Jaguars, and Browns, they’re one of the only four teams in football that has never made a Super Bowl. I don’t think they’re going to blow it at the first hurdle. Winner: Lions.
Packers @ Cowboys
I cannot adequately explain why, but I have a peculiar feeling that the Packers are going to upset the Cowboys. Perhaps it’s because I’ve watched Jordan Love come into his own in recent weeks; perhaps it’s because I am accustomed to the Cowboys choking in the post-season. Whatever it is, the feeling hasn’t gone away. In fact, I’ve put a little money on it, which is ironic given that, if I’m right, NR’s many Wisconsinites will be the ones buying me drinks. Winner: Packers.