Harrison Bergeron, an executive for American Eagle’s advertising agency, recruits the leading lady for the company’s next commercial:

“I shall now select my Empress!” he said, looking down on the cowering people. “Let the first woman who dares rise to her feet claim her mate and her throne!”

A moment passed, and then a ballerina arose, swaying like a willow. Harrison plucked the mental handicap from her ear, snapped off her physical handicaps with marvelous delicacy. Last of all he removed her mask.

She was blindingly beautiful.

Elsewhere, Diana Moon Glampers, progressive columnist, is unaware that she will soon have another outrage to tackle.