NRPLUS MEMBER ARTICLE P olitics is the absolute worst place to talk about abortion. And yet that’s the primary arena in which we debate it. Life after Roe v. Wade means that just about every election is about abortion. And that hurts people — because many people have been involved in abortions, one way or another. It’s necessary because we must debate law and policy. But how can the debate become more compassionate? How can it become more humane? Former South Carolina governor Nikki Haley led the way during the first Republican primary debate.
“Let’s find consensus,” she urged. “Can’t we all agree that we should ban late-term abortions? Can’t we all agree that we should encourage adoptions?” She added: “Can’t we all agree that doctors and nurses who don’t believe in abortion shouldn’t have to perform them?”
She issued a bit of a plea: “Let’s treat this like the — like a respectful issue that it is and humanize the situation and stop demonizing the situation.”
She was encouraging a meeting place for Americans on the most contentious of issues. It may not be possible in the context of a presidential election, but it needs to happen in families and in communities and places of worship. The U.S. Catholic bishops run the Walking with Moms in Need initiative, which is a rallying cry to parishes around the country to meet the needs of women in each church. Imagine if women could knock on the door of every church, synagogue, or mosque in the United States and know that they would be loved and cared for and given the resources they need? Pregnancy-care centers do this kind of work. My friends at the Sisters of Life do this. But a scared pregnant woman has to know where to find them. We need to make it so much easier.
In the post-Dobbs reality we are living in, pregnancy-care centers are demonized for giving women the breathing room to choose life for their children. Truth be told, if you show up at a Sisters of Life Visitation Mission, you will be loved. You will be given creature comforts before anyone talks to you about your pregnancy. Should you choose life for your child, resources they provide may include housing but also help with immigration and work skills and just about everything a mom could need for the flourishing of herself and her child.
And, yes, there is also the adoption option. It was mentioned twice in passing during the GOP debate. This has become politicized, too, unfortunately. During her Senate confirmation hearings, Supreme Court justice Amy Coney Barrett was caricatured as a cruel white colonist for having adopted children from Haiti. Children she and her husband wanted to love and make a part of their family! That kind of hospitality is beautiful. There are all kinds of circumstances surrounding adoption, but the tremendous, selfless sacrifice that a birth mother makes to choose adoption ought to be recognized — and even celebrated.
Adoption advocates caution about the language we use to discuss adoption. Don’t say that a mother is “giving her child up,” but “choosing an adoption plan.” It’s another kind of parenthood, in fact, some will say. If you know you are not prepared, what a gift to give to another. Because of abortion, there are more couples in the U.S. who would like to be parents than there are children. Some object that women should not have to provide for them. But if a child is already in a womb, shouldn’t she have the opportunity for life and love?
One of the most encouraging things about the issue of abortion is that polls have consistently found that people don’t want abortion. They want to know that women in difficult situations have choices. Until this summer, Pennsylvania was a model of ensuring that. Their Real Alternatives program made sure that funding went to not only Planned Parenthood but also pregnancy-care centers, for women who wanted to give birth to their babies. As punishment for a Supreme Court ruling he disagrees with, the current (Democratic) governor has killed the funding for mothers who don’t choose abortion.
Politics is politics, but it has an impact on real lives. That Real Alternatives program in the Keystone State was established by a Democrat — the late Robert Casey. It’s possible in politics to lead, even on abortion. And yet, in this most intimate of issues, we tend to go in the opposite direction these days. Life after Roe somehow encourages it all the more.
But Nikki Haley has the right idea.
It’s not really a federal issue, but candidates for president should talk about foster care, to start a national conversation about what more we can do for children in need of homes. It would also make clear that people who oppose abortion do, in fact, care for children throughout their lives. And it’s another meeting ground. Whatever your position on abortion, don’t you want children to have a chance in life? Children who age out of foster care tend to wind up homeless and in jail — and sometimes in prison on purpose, to have somewhere to sleep and shower and eat.
The next time you find yourself arguing with a friend or family member about abortion, consider what the two of you can do to actually help women and children and families in need. It’s not easy to raise a family in America today. But it is the best we can do. You don’t have to support Nikki Haley for president to appreciate that she is sounding much-needed humane chords.
This column is based on one available through Andrews McMeel Universal’s Newspaper Enterprise Association.