When young men drop out of the dating world, everyone loses.

N ot long ago, it would have seemed preposterous to run television ads promoting sex to young men. But in the past ten years, more young men have approached the process of learning to interact with women as they approach learning to make pizza from scratch. Seems like a lot of work for only fleeting payoff.

A recent study found that sexlessness among men between the ages of 22 and 34 roughly doubled between 2013 and 2023, with the number of men confessing they hadn’t had sex for a full year increasing from 9 percent to 24 percent over that time. (Sexlessness among young women also rose during that period, by about 50 percent.)

Among the myriad excuses given for young males’ lack of physical intimacy with females, the most common is the ubiquity of online pornography. In the past, conspiring to view a nude person was like planning the invasion of Normandy, but today (so I hear), one need only have an internet connection.

Yet some studies suggest easily accessible porn isn’t to blame. Of the young males who reported they hadn’t had sex in the past year, more said they hadn’t viewed porn than admitted they did.

One factor contributing to current sexlessness is probably learned celibacy from the Covid years of isolation. Another is that young men are putting off marriage for longer, and married people tend to have more sex.

But perhaps the most powerful anti-erotic force is the presence of devices in guys’ pockets and bedrooms — the cellphones and laptops that guarantee young men are never bored. Who has time to plot amorous advances while constantly being bombarded with TikTok videos, cryptocurrency strategies, and basketball-trade rumors? Sex is often for people with time on their hands, and alternative enjoyments are to be found all day, every day on a small screen (without the downside of possible rejection).

Hundreds of studies have explained the demographic reasons why male sexlessness matters: For the past decade, birth rates in America have continued to drop, which will affect everything in the future from consumer spending to tax revenues to land use to employment rates. Of more immediate concern is the fact that men are no longer doing the important things they used to do to get laid.

Men are at their most productive when trying to convince women of their own carnal worth. This has been true forever. To impress the ladies, glorious works of art have issued forth from men smitten with an elusive — or not-so-elusive — female. To take just one example, think of Pablo Picasso, whose painting inspired by his lover Dora Maar became the second-most expensive painting in the world.

But where today are the poets like Lord Byron, who wrote his greatest works to impress his mistress, Caroline Lamb? Think of all the great comedians who never would have existed had weird-looking guys simply given up on trying to make girls laugh and found solace in comic books.

Perhaps the cultural institution that has suffered the most from men boycotting sex is the world of music. For decades, joining a band with one’s friends was a golden ticket to a libidinous Wonka Factory full of every imaginable confection. (In the past few decades, multiple great albums have been written by men sad that actress Winona Ryder either dumped them or refused to date them.)

Yet look at the Grammy Awards over the past few years — you’re more likely to see Ulysses S. Grant roller-skating across the stage than you are to see a group of men playing guitars. Instead, the world of music is dominated by the likes of Beyoncé, Taylor Swift, Chappell Roan, Doechii, Cardi B, Megan Thee Stallion, Lady Gaga, Ariana Grande, Dua Lipa, and Lana Del Rey. Two of the rock Grammys this year were won by the Beatles and the Rolling Stones, whose surviving members make Joe Biden look like Harry Styles.

Here’s another problem for young men: Nearly 60 percent of college students are now female, including in professional schools like law school and medical school. This means that fewer young men are getting the education they really need: in how to interact with other people, both women and men alike.

Of course, college isn’t necessary for men to learn how to interact with women. But the mating process is what files down men’s rougher edges. There is no finishing school as rigorous as the dating world — you learn how to hold a conversation, how to properly groom yourself, and generally how to behave like a high-value person.

Instead, guys are remaining twitchy dorks. (These window-licking incels can be found all over social media holding court on subjects such as whether pop star Sabrina Carpenter wears too much make-up.)

Before any young man begins his priapic journey, thundering through America like Mötley Crüe on tour in 1984, he should learn a few ground rules. First, find someone you actually like. There’s nothing better than joining up with someone with whom you have a real connection. (And if you really want to have lots of sex, here’s a life hack: get married to someone you love!)

Also, make sure you obey all rules of propriety, especially in the workplace. It is true, men were knocked off course a little during the Me Too era, with some forgetting how to talk to women (or other men) altogether. Don’t be a jerk who doesn’t know how to take social cues. There are plenty of negative examples of male behavior — Matt Gaetz springs instantly to mind — who give men in general a bad name. Make sure you’re not one of them.

But the world needs attraction. It needs men to flex their intellectual and creative muscles to produce things they didn’t even know they were capable of. The passion for a partner can inspire people in ways finishing a level on Call of Duty simply can’t.

In fact, maybe your particular unknown talent will be writing the television ads convincing Gen Z men to unlock their libidinous potential:

“Sex! It’s better than getting a call from Joe Rogan on your birthday!”

“Girls! They’re not just on TikTok!”

“Enter player two!”