NRPLUS MEMBER ARTICLE C rouching in the darkness of my basement huddled with my four children, I would think of the many hopes and dreams that I had for us. While happiness seemed impossible, I wanted to hold onto something other than the pain, emotional and physical, that we endured each day. Unfortunately, the reality was that my life consisted only of the four dark walls that hid us from abuse, and the many tears that made a permanent home on my pillow.

My heart broke when I learned I was pregnant again, as I feared bringing another life into the horrors of my unstable home. While I did not want an abortion, I felt as though it was my only option. I scheduled the procedure, forgetting that I had previously made another appointment on the same day at the same time for my first ultrasound.

Two commitments, on the opposite sides of town.

By the time I realized my mistake, it was the day of the appointments. I saw the two paths of my life flash before my eyes. In that moment, my heart and soul instantly knew which direction to take. I arrived at the office and laid back in the chair, nervous but relieved. I closed my eyes as the technician uttered two powerful words: “It’s twins.”

I wasn’t prepared to end the life of one of my children, much less two.

While I was overjoyed to be carrying two new lives, the fear quickly closed in. When I told my partner the news, he said that if I went through with giving birth and brought the twins home, he would kick us out of the house, leaving us with no shelter or support. It took me months after that moment to muster up the courage to finally take my children and leave. The years of abuse had led me to believe that I could never survive on my own, but I wanted to do better for myself, and I had to do better for my kids.

One May afternoon when I was seven months pregnant, I quickly packed my four children into the car and wound up lost and anxious in a Food Lion parking lot.

I rapidly called every place I could think of in hopes of finding somewhere to go, including domestic-abuse shelters that I had frequented, but I had no luck. Finally, a voice on the other line told me that if I waited a few hours, she would have a safe place for us to stay.

Before I knew it, I was driving up to the doors of Mary’s Shelter, a home for pregnant women in crisis. While I did not know what to expect when I arrived, I never anticipated a fully furnished home, complete with groceries and everything my little family would need.

We were immediately flooded with more warmth and genuine love than we had ever experienced. For the first couple of weeks, I constantly found myself checking over my shoulder and barring the door each night, holding my breath in fear that we would be found and forced back into the lives we had escaped. Slowly, over time, I realized that I was breathing again. We were finally safe, and loved, and the smiles on my children’s faces confirmed that I had made the right decision.

In the year since I made the call to Mary’s Shelter, my hopes and dreams have finally come true. With their help, I gave birth to my beautiful twins, Macy and Lucy, completed classes to obtain my real-estate license, and started my own charcuterie business. The women who work at Mary’s Shelter and the other mothers who stay there have become my family. My children and I no longer spend our nights hiding in fear, with tear-soaked faces and shrinking hope. We now have full hearts, a roof over our heads, wonderful support, and smiles that at one point were foreign to me.

I don’t tell my story for people to feel pity for me or to tell me how strong I am, but rather to show other women that I know how it feels. I know how it feels to be scared and in the dark, not knowing what pain the day will bring. I know how it feels to think that your hopes and dreams will never come true.

But I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to struggle or suffer. Abortion is not your only option, and happiness can be a reality. Your life will be bright, your babies will be beautiful, and everything will be okay. Thanks to the wonderful women at Mary’s Shelter, that scared woman who used to hide in fear now has the life she always dreamed of — and six remarkable children to share it with.