The small cardboard box is still there, in the entrance hall of their apartment, as a reminder of a crushing defeat against the invader. A few months ago, the partner of 32-year-old Amandine (first name changed), suggested locking his smartphone in a box every evening between 7 pm and 9 pm. "The good resolution lasted two days," sighed the 30-something with long brown hair and neat make-up, looking dejected. When he comes home from work, her husband, a railway engineer, spends "75% of his time on his phone," answering emails before drifting to mobile games and Formula 1 videos.

Since the arrival of their little boy two years ago, things haven't improved: "I feel like we're in the background, that there's always something more interesting than family life, even though we're not to be pitied. When he puts down his smartphone, I feel like he always wants to go back to it, while his son is waiting to spend time with him," deplored the pricing strategy executive in a large company. Within the couple, the subject creates tensions that often turn into arguments: "Right away, he rolls his eyes and tells me that he needs to switch off his brain to get rid of work pressure," said Amandine.

In the nine years they've been together, she's seen the smartphone take over more and more of their daily lives, with the few minutes spent sending messages turning into hours of scrolling frantically through pages. To the point of nostalgia for the world she grew up in, the world of landlines and Minitel. "I would have loved to have grown up in the 1990s. I think we'd have had better times, and done a lot more things together," the 30-something imagines, gazing into the distance.

Since 2012 and the arrival of the dating app Tinder, soon followed by Happn, Fruitz, Hinge, Grindr and the mobile version of Meetic, the online dating market has promised endless opportunities to find love from our phones. But by infiltrating every aspect of our lives, these little connected devices are also causing tension and communication problems within couples, whatever their age.

According to a survey by research firm Poll & Roll for Bouygues Telecom in January 2021, 61% of French people believe that their partner spends too much time on their mobile phone. A quarter of the 1,000 people interviewed admitted to checking their smartphone notifications before saying hello to their partner, and two-thirds of respondents keep their smartphone on the table during meals.

'A tool that creates both connections and friction'

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