His few days' leave looked promising. On a February morning in Vinnytsia, central Ukraine, Ihor Fesik, 33, had already managed to set up a date with one of the women he'd been discussing with on a dating app when he was on the front line. He's a member of the 59th brigade, whose men are considered heroes after defending Mykolaiv, Kherson and Avdiivka. On his Tinder and Badoo profiles, his two favorite platforms, Fesik uses his best selfie: flexed muscles, a backward cap and a playful smile beneath his red beard and blue eyes. Attached to his fatigues' waistband is a Velcro label reading "Orgasm Donor."
Before the Russian invasion in February 2022, Fesik was already a regular dating app user. When the full-scale offensive began, this former musician, who used to work as a voice-over artist in commercials, joined the army as a volunteer and stopped all his exchanges. For a year and a half, he didn't even think about it. "I didn't have the time, and the shock was too great," he recalled. Then, as the war dragged on, he finally went back to them. "I needed to talk to women – there are none in my unit. It's a way of distracting myself. And that way, I feel less alone."
Like him, many servicemen use dating sites while on missions. After two years of combat far from home, loneliness is weighing heavily on some of these men, who are often more eager to chat, get their minds off things and get moral support than to build a relationship.
In wartime, however, dating websites can prove dangerous for soldiers, as the enemy can use them to obtain sensitive information. The Ukrainian army is aware of the danger and has issued warnings to its troops. "We know that Russia uses all possible means, including these applications, to gather data," explained Natalia Humeniuk, spokeswoman for the country's southern military command. "We're paying close attention to this problem and constantly communicating about it in the brigades."
Ukraine is especially wise to this risk because it uses the same method, according to a military recruiting officer in Odesa. "Our guys use these apps to write to Russian servicemen and find out where they are," said 48-year-old Volodymyr (who didn't want to give his last name). "But we know that they're not stupid on the other side and that their commanders tell them to be careful."
To limit the risks, the Ukrainian army strictly regulates the use of dating sites and social media in combat zones. "It's not forbidden, and most soldiers delete these applications on their own," explained Major Serhiy, 56, a member of the 59th brigade (his surname was withheld for security reasons). "But because of their young age, they feel the need to talk to women, which can lead to problems. For some units, we have to perform checks and formalize instructions." Accordingly, soldiers must sign a document stipulating that using dating apps and social media should be avoided. An office linked to the Security Service of Ukraine (SBU) is responsible for checking who is calling people on the phones and where and to whom messages are addressed.
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