His expression had changed. There seemed to be a fracture, a sadness. He still smiled, but when he told stories of the war, his face no longer lit up as it once did. "The past year was the hardest of the three years of conflict," he said. Two injuries, a bout of depression, grueling military operations – sometimes unsuccessful – and above all, the "hell" of losing his brothers in arms, funerals, grieving wives and children.

"John," as he has chosen to call himself for this testimony, is an elite fighter. Like the other soldiers interviewed – without oversight from their command or a press officer – he has regularly spoken candidly to Le Monde throughout the war. The last time, he used a different name. He is now forbidden from revealing his identity, not even his call sign. Since our last meeting, he has joined one of Ukraine's secret services.

John's reassignment hasn't fundamentally changed his life: He still fights in an assault unit, often on the front line. The difference is that, as part of a prestigious secret service unit, he is now based in Kyiv and liable to be deployed all over the country on the most dangerous missions, as well as to Russia.

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