One September morning, 46-year-old Virginie set off to defend her dissertation on "Girls' Failure in Mathematics in the First Grade." It was the final stage in the dense, studious year spent by this national education inspector who had returned to her studies. Focusing on the points of her presentation, she was deep in thought when her phone rang. She glanced at the screen: Her younger sister was trying to reach her. She hesitated for a few seconds, then picked up. "I told her I was going to my oral, but she quickly jumped in and started complaining about our brother, who never answers messages. It's a recurring subject between us. We've talked about it dozens of times," said Virginie. After several long minutes of conversation, the eldest daughter hung up and continued on her way. At the end of the day, she simply posted briefly on the WhatsApp group shared with her two sisters and brother that she had successfully defended her dissertation.

Virginie is the eldest of four children, and she's used to her younger sisters calling her "to complain." Her brother rarely communicates by phone or email. This time, like all the others, she answered. "I could have ignored the call," she said. "But we'd missed each other several times and I knew she wanted to get something off her chest. With my sisters, I listen to their stories and their tales. This role suits me, even if I'm sometimes criticized for not responding quickly enough." Looking back, Virginie thinks she might have been the one who deserved a sympathetic ear that day. But she didn't ask for it.

She put it bluntly: she feels a bit like a "second mom" to her two sisters, aged 42 and 37. "I've always looked after Margaux, the youngest, whom I picked up from school when she was three. With her, I took on a very maternal role, and I loved it." Margaux said: "I was such a fan of hers, she was perfection incarnate. When she looked at me, I felt so proud." Thirty-four years later, the now grown-up little girl confirms that her older sister holds a special place among her siblings. "Virginie is calm and thoughtful, and her judgment is extremely sound. She doesn't confide much, she's a fortress, and she holds the collective structure together. It's true that she's always there for me, but I find that quite normal," said Margaux. "She's always one step ahead when it comes to analyzing life and working with our parents. Looking at her, I can see a little of what's in store for me in the next few years."

You have 77.42% of this article left to read. The rest is for subscribers only.