It's almost a way of life. On a Sunday night, at half past midnight, on November 9, 2015, Valérie Trierweiler tweeted a photo of herself wearing a T-shirt that read "I'm too sexy for my ex." The ex in question was none other than the president of France, François Hollande. A year earlier, she had published Merci pour ce moment (Thank You for this Moment, 2014), an autobiographical essay about the end of her relationship with him. This tale of an ex was read by hundreds of thousands of people in a dozen countries. She revealed that Hollande had made a cutting remark about the "sans-dents" ("the toothless," referring to poor people) that would forever taint his reputation. Two years earlier, while still the president's partner, she had tweeted a message of support for dissident candidate Olivier Falorni, who was running in the legislative elections against Ségolène Royal – another ex of Hollande's.

Each time, Trierweiler faced fierce criticism. She was the hateful, vengeful, embittered ex, with the idea of the "crazy ex" or the "hysterical ex" always looming in the background – a classic example of sexism! "Sometimes, it feels like there are tweets that are more telling than any psychiatric assessment," wrote the political adviser Eric Fallourd in reaction to the slogan T-shirt. Hollande's former partner, meanwhile, has always denied having wanted to harm him. "It's not revenge; it's not a vendetta," she told the BBC. "It's not to destroy him, it's to rebuild myself." She then concluded, "Most people told me: 'This isn’t about settling scores at all. It's almost a love story.' That's what my book represents."

It was a love story that turned sour. Many people have gone through it and paid the price. For Jacques (first name changed), 45, it has gone on for 10 years. That's how long it's been since he and his former partner ended their civil union, and, amid a very tense atmosphere, appeared before the family court judge over custody of their two children. Since then, the pharmacist has moved into a house near Blois with his new partner; they now have two children together. The alternating custody arrangement is still in place: His older children spend one week with him and one week with their mother. "When I drop the kids off at her place, I'm allowed to leave the bag inside, but not to enter, whether it's raining or snowing. I've never stepped over her doormat. At the end of the hallway, there's a playhouse for the kids. One day, my daughter [from my second marriage] wanted to play there with her older sisters. My ex wouldn't let her in."

You have 75.52% of this article left to read. The rest is for subscribers only.