In "Mauvaise Idée," the rapper Orelsan lists the wrong directions we take in our lives and the mistakes – big or small – we shouldn't make: "Starting to smoke at 30, bad idea; job interview in tracksuit, bad idea," he intones. "Texting on a blind corner; face tattoos; Hitler disguises; going clubbing with your mother; wearing a PSG T-shirt on the Canebière," and so on, through to, "going back to an ex, bad idea."

It's perhaps not the most elegant way of expressing it, but there is sense in it. Reconnecting with former lovers can be risky, especially if they haven't shown the smallest interest in seeing you again, or if they simply vanished after the separation. It's the boomerang ex, the one who disappeared and then came back with a bang.

Nina, 28, who is a marketing manager in Paris, experienced it. She was 22 when she broke up with Romain (first names changed). And then five years later, her phone rang, and it was Romain. He was passing through Paris before leaving for a trip abroad and wanted to see her again. Curious to know what had become of him, Nina accepted. "I met him when I was 19, and he was 25. His lifestyle fascinated me. He was a surfer, who lived without commitment, without constraints, a bit off the grid." Would he arrive looking tanned and his hair full of salt?

So on a freezing evening in the winter of 2023, the former couple agreed to meet at a Chinese restaurant. It only took a couple of bites of bao for Nina to realize the chasm that separated them. "He told me he didn't eat processed food anymore. Then he started talking to me about one weird thing after the other. He lectured me on real estate investments and expounded on a theory on quantum physics. He then explained that he no longer watched TV or any other platform, and that he only got his information from YouTube, to get the real news, and gave me a semi-conspiratorial anti-vax speech."

Who was this stranger?

She knew she should have put an end to the encounter but couldn't. Fascinated, she revived it. "I kept asking him questions. I was completely impervious to what he was telling me, but I couldn't stop. I was trying to understand what had happened between us. He's someone who meant a lot to me at one time in my life; we were together for five years. Was he always like this? Was it him or me who changed?"

Nina was looking at an unfathomable mystery. Who was this stranger for whom she felt nothing, but a fascination tinged with repulsion? No matter how hard she looked at him, she couldn't see the young man she had once loved and admired. The face she had once cherished no longer moved her, and how she saw him was as painful as her disenchantment – as if her past love had been drained of substance. The disconnect was clearly not felt as keenly by her dining companion, who seemed delighted to have met up again with Nina. "He told me he'd dreamed about me, and in his dream we were in sync and hugging," said Nina. "He bought me dinner, and we never saw each other again."

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