A few words in the search bar: "Is it normal to have never had sex at 23?" One day in 2017, Adrien (all names have been changed) was scouring the depths of the web to ease his worries. The young man came across discussions about sexual inexperience on the "Blabla 18-25 years" forum on Jeuxvideo.com, one of the most visited in France. It is probably one of the most controversial, too. To the questions others had asked before him, users responded, almost unanimously, "It's shameful, you need to do something about it."
However, amid the online ridicule, he discovered "a haven of peace," the Virginite-tardive.fr ("late virginity") discussion platform, which, as its name suggests, is a support space for adults who haven't had sexual relations at what is considered an older age. "I recognized myself in many of the testimonials," he said. "I found kindness and a listening ear there." There was also a shared struggle against prejudice. "Today, I'm 30 and I'm still a virgin, but I don't consider myself abnormal," said the public servant, who has become one of the forum's moderators.
Like Adrien, nearly 2,000 people have registered on Virginite-tardive.fr. Created in 2007 by former members of the Doctissimo.fr forum, the project aims to provide a judgment-free environment for sexual inexperience – while excluding "incels," "involuntary celibates" known for their hatred of women.
In France, the median age at first sexual intercourse has risen since the late 2010s, reaching 17.7 for men and 18.2 for women, according to the fourth edition of the "Contexte des sexualités en France" ("Context of Sexualities," CSF) 2023 survey, conducted by the Institut National de la Santé et de la Recherche Médicale (INSERM, the French national institute for health and medical research) and the ANRS emerging infectious diseases. "Scientific literature refers to late sexual initiation when the first intercourse occurs after the age of 19, but it's really very subjective and normative," said Nathalie Bajos, a sociologist and research director at INSEM.
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