"When I was in secondary school, a boy used to have fun going up to girls with his cell phone and playing a video. It was an introduction to the Pornhub site. He wanted to see if we'd recognize it. I'd never watched porn before, but I recognized it, because it's famous. I said, 'Just get it off!' He replied: 'Ah, you're watching! It's disgusting!' Just because we're girls, we shouldn't know what it's like. We're put in a box, we're dirty girls, disgusting if we're watching... and for boys, it's a source of pride.
I come from a family where we don't talk about it. I grew up in the Paris region, one of my parents works in education, the other is a researcher. I was never, ever told about porn. But I wouldn't say that sex is taboo in our house. My sister, who's a few years older than me, talks about it with my mother, but I'm too shy.
I was in 4th grade when I discovered pleasure, I was sitting on a buoy and it felt good. But I didn't understand what it was. It relaxed me, so I did it a lot. But one day, when I was 9, my father came into my room just then. He made me very uncomfortable. He didn't pretend he hadn't seen anything. He said, 'What are you doing?' I started crying, as if I'd done something stupid. I made up a huge lie that I was putting my comforter back on. He insisted, saying, 'But I saw you! Were you thinking of a boy?' He really made me think that I was doing something forbidden, that it wasn't normal at all. If one day I see my child doing that, I won't put them in that situation.
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