It was after a happy hour round of mojitos and the opening of a second bottle of wine that the conversation took a sexual turn. Gathered in a restaurant in central Lyon, Gaël (first name changed), 34, and five of his girlfriends were dining in a light, festive atmosphere. Around the table, some of them were eager to talk about their repeated romps with their new partner. "They're having the time of their lives and making love all the time, sometimes several times in a row," said the young father of two daughters aged three and five, who's been in a relationship for 12 years. "At home, it's clearly quieter, so, in order not to appear uptight, I embellished reality. I said we made love every three days because I felt silly in comparison. I'm young, still looking ok, so I don't want to admit publicly that my sexuality has gone flat." Gaël remembers life before children. Back then, he and his husband were intimate almost every day. But since the whirlwind of parenthood hit their home, their bedroom has become more about snoozing than fooling around. "Between fatigue, work and the mental load, we make love once or twice a month. It's not a catastrophe, but it's gone downhill."

If Caroline (she wished to change her first name), 40, had taken part in this happy get-together with friends, she would have lied too. She's been living with the same man for 10 years in central France, and they have sex once a month. "When the subject comes up, I prefer to remain evasive," she said. "I don't want people to judge us, to think that my relationship is going badly when we're happy and very involved. To tell the truth is to run the risk of introducing into our friends' heads the idea that our sexuality isn't dynamic, like a shameful secret."

Caroline doesn't want more sex in her life. This rhythm suits her, and she would like to dispel the myth that frequency guarantees fulfillment. "Our intimacy has evolved over the last 10 years, there are fewer embraces, even if the desire is there," she said, while acknowledging that her husband undoubtedly aspires to more. She assured us that she doesn't see it as a "failure," but the subject "resonates" with her because she tells herself that others do more. "I've heard that people in France make love twice a week," she said, a little doubtful. "It makes me feel uncomfortable because I'm comparing myself and since we're so much lower, I feel out of line. Even if I'm not convinced that it's wild for all my friends."

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