Only one more day of questioning. Only one more day of questioning. You have to repeat it to believe the ordeal is nearly over. To know that on the evening of Monday, November 18, after hearing the final four defendants, the screens in the courtroom of the criminal court in Avignon will no longer light up with the interior of the Pelicots' bedroom in the small southern French town of Mazan.

On Tuesday, the 50 men on trial for raping Gisèle Pelicot while she was drugged by her husband will be brought together again for final questions and readings, before the second phase of the trial begins: the plaintiffs', prosecution's, and defenses' closing arguments.

Is that why the last few steps seemed so long, so heavy? The videos more nauseating? The denials more painful to listen to? Of the three defendants questioned on Friday, none admitted to the rapes of which they were accused. All three were appearing in custody. The computer of the first defendant, Christian L., contained photos of underage girls, for which he was also being prosecuted for possession of child pornography images. The second, Nizar H., already had eight mentions in his criminal record, including recidivist domestic violence, repeated death threats and child abduction. The third, Charly A., made six visits to the Pelicots' house.

So yes, it was more difficult to hear 56-year-old Christian L.'s rage against those who he said have been "dragging him through the mud for four years." To sympathize with his grief at being without news of his two grown-up daughters, and at not having been able to accompany his mother in her final days. To listen to him, the senior firefighter at a fire station, volunteer at 16, professional at 18, who claimed to have stayed true to his oath – "Respect all victims, take into account all distress" – in all fields, fires, accidents, disasters, mountain rescues. "I've had about 4,000 deaths in my career," he said.

But there were the images of his visit to the Pelicots' house on the afternoon of January 15, 2020. Christian L., wearing a service tee-shirt, toiling for long minutes over the naked, inert body of Gisèle Pelicot, before giving a satisfied thumbs-up to his host's camera.

For four years, Christian L. had been looking for an "explanation," he said. In court, he gave the only one he could come up with: He himself must have been "chemically subdued" by Dominique Pelicot. He saw no other explanation for these images: "It's my body, it's not my brain."

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