Former Vice President Kamala Harris should consider herself fortunate to have earned the gin-soaked reputation she has.

After all, the alternative explanation for her unique behavior and jaw-dropping oratory would be far worse.

In a hilarious clip posted Tuesday to the social media platform X, Mike Opelka on the morning show “Kayal & Company” on Talk Radio 1210 WPHT in Philadelphia made a subtle change to Harris’ latest audio book, and the result had others in the studio laughing hysterically.

In recent days, the former vice president has promoted her book, “107 Days,” a memoir of the 2024 presidential campaign. Some reviewers have described the book as an exercise in score-settling and bridge-burning with fellow Democrats.

“I’ve been going through the Kamala Harris audio book,” Opelka said.

“Uh oh,” one of his colleagues interjected.

“Since last night, and — yeah,” Opelka continued, “as torturous as that is, my evil brain decided maybe if we slow it down 30 percent, she sounds drunk. You want me to give you a little sample?”

As soon as they heard Harris speaking at 30 percent slower-than-normal speed, the men in the studio cracked up laughing.

“In the summer of 2021,” the slowed-down version of Harris said, “during her final trip to Washington as German chancellor, I hosted Angela Merkel for breakfast at the vice president’s residence.”

Of course, it made no difference what Harris actually said. But those two words at the end — “president’s residence” — at 30 percent slower speed, had the comical effect of making her words sound slurred.

“I think they were serving Mimosas,” Opelka joked.

Meanwhile, the radio host kept the laughter going on X.

“I need a ‘combat pay’ bonus for listening to Kamala’s book,” he quipped on X.

I need a “combat pay” bonus for listening to Kamala’s book. https://t.co/EFy7Fe9kWg

— Mike Opelka (@stuntbrain) September 23, 2025

Harris, of course, has a reputation as an alleged lush.

But here’s the thing: unlike a real drunk passed out on a sidewalk and unlike say, legendary “Rat Pack” entertainer Dean Martin, who played drunk as part of a schtick, no one knows whether or not the former vice president has an actual drinking problem. It simply strikes sensible people as the most plausible explanation.

After all, who breaks into an uncontrollable cackle at inappropriate times for no apparent reason?

Who speaks in word salads so jumbled that even one’s nominal allies cannot help but notice? When Harris talks, Americans tilt their heads in unison as if to say, “What’s wrong with her?”

In short, inebriation represents the charitable answer. It’s another way of saying, “She can’t be sober and still sound like that.”

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