For those looking at the New York City mayoral polls and wondering what Gothamites might see in Andrew freaking Cuomo — who has a massive lead in the 2025 election — let me introduce you to one of his biggest competitors, Zohran Mamdani.

Mamdani, a Democratic socialist and state assemblyman, has made the establishment of city-run grocery stores a cornerstone of his candidacy. The move is meant to mitigate so-called “food deserts,” where there are few grocery retailers.

“Everywhere I go, I hear New Yorkers talking about the outrageous prices of groceries,” he said, according to The New York Times.

“This is a bold and workable plan.”

“These stores will operate without profit motive, or having to pay property taxes or rent, and will pass those savings onto you,” he added, according to the New York Post.

The move would put at least one grocery store in each of New York City’s five boroughs. It’s part of the reason why Mamdani is second in the polling, with 15 percent, behind Cuomo at 39 percent, according to the March Data for Progress poll.

All other candidates, including current Mayor Eric Adams, are in single digits. On the off-chance that New Yorkers remember Andrew Cuomo is Andrew Cuomo — a serial sexual harasser whose actions are likely responsible for the deaths of thousands of nursing home residents during the COVID crisis — this could easily end up being the mayor of America’s most populous city.

OK then, one of New York City’s top grocers is saying: Before you try out your idea on a wide scale, why not try it out in my stores — with one little catch?

John Catsimatidis — the owner, president, and CEO of the Gristedes and D’Agostino food chains, along with one of the Big Apple’s top talk radio hosts — said that Mamdani can do a dry run of his city-run socialized grocery store plan in one of his outlets, provided he pays for shoplifting costs at what he called the “Soviet”-style store.

“If they want to try an experiment, I will be helpful — as long as the city makes up the shortfall for shoplifting,” he told the Post.

“Will they allow people to shoplift? What will the policy on shoplifting be? I just want to know,” he added.

Catsimatidis, it’s worth noting, is a supporter of Donald Trump and once ran for the GOP nomination for NYC mayor. You, therefore, won’t be surprised to know that he won’t be voting for Mamdani, although he’s willing to help out if the man does get elected.

“It could help the city feed the hungry. There’s a deal to be made. We’ll help make it happen,” he said.

However, Catsimatidis — who has made headlines for telling staff at his stores to tackle shoplifters until the police get there — probably won’t be thrilled with whatever program Mamdani is pushing.

Take, for instance, his website — which pushes something called the “Department of Community Safety,” a program that sounds an awful lot like “defund the police” by a different name:

Zohran will create the Department of Community Safety to prevent violence before it happens by prioritizing solutions which have been consistently shown to improve safety. Police have a critical role to play. But right now, we’re relying on them to deal with the failures of our social safety net — which prevents them from doing their actual jobs. Through this new city agency and whole-of-government approach, community safety will be prioritized like never before in NYC.

Right. This is his approach to safety in a city which has seen the largest increase in shoplifting between mid-2019 and mid-2023, according to the Council on Criminal Justice — 64 percent, beating even Los Angeles at 61 percent.

Meanwhile, before Eric Adams managed to relegate himself to an also-ran in the race via some dubious contacts with Turkish officials, he got elected on the basis of a law-and-order mandate.

It’s not just that Mamdani’s pushing police-defunding by a different name. His city-run grocery stores would cost $60 million for the outlets in the five boroughs, the Post reported. That’s if all goes well. What happens when you take shoplifting into account?

Will the Department of Community Safety try to talk a shoplifter down by promising them a safety net instead of the $500 in razor blades and toothpaste they’ve piled into their bag? Is that his plan to deal with them? Because, let me tell you, that $60 million will just go to paying for John Catsimatidis’ shrinkage.

Of course Mamdani won’t put this to the test via a dry run should he get elected — because it’d go very badly. You don’t need to be a genius to figure that one out. And, looking at his extreme positions, it’s also not difficult to realize why Andrew Cuomo, sadly, is on the precipice of being back in a position of power again.

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