Well, you can’t say that Elon Musk’s last day at the Department of Government Efficiency wasn’t an eventful one.
During his exit interview at the White House, Musk showed up to celebrate the end of his tenure at DOGE with a black eye in the Oval Office — which naturally led to questions about where he got it.
His answer was clever and straightforward, although some didn’t buy it.
“Well, I wasn’t anywhere near France,” Musk told reporters, making a side-joke about French President Emmanuel Macron getting shoved in the face by his wife. (To be fair, they were in Vietnam at the time, but it’d be hard to make that joke a one-liner otherwise.)
French President Macron’s wife getting physically. I don’t know if that was a slap as much and face shove. She needs to calm down. pic.twitter.com/OAd2DdEKhm
— VeLore (@Oddland66) May 26, 2025
“No, I just was horsing around with little X,” Musk said.
“And I said, ‘Go ahead, punch me in the face.’ And he did. Turns out even a 5-year-old punching you in the face … actually does this.”
Elon Musk’s 5-year-old son, X, punched him so hard he got a black eye????
Reporter: “Mr. Musk, is your eye okay?”
Elon: “Well, I wasn’t anywhere near France… I was just walking around with Lil X, and I said, ‘Go ahead,’ punch me in the face, and he did. Turns out even a… pic.twitter.com/m7u2PSTluy
— George (@BehizyTweets) May 30, 2025
By X, he’s referring to his son X Æ A-Xii. He and the mother of the child — Canadian alt-pop songstress Grimes (driver’s license name Claire Boucher) — decided on the name because X represents an unknown variable, Æ “is an elven spelling of ‘AI,’ which stands for Artificial Intelligence, and the word ‘love’ in some languages,” the Times of India noted, and A-Xii involves both Musk’s love of aircraft and the vagaries of California law.
The Lockheed A-12 was a precursor to the legendary SR-71 reconnaissance jet, but the Golden State doesn’t allow you to put numbers into children’s names — for better or for worse. Hence, “Xii” is a Roman numeral version of 12.
Now you know — and, as “G.I. Joe” all taught us as kids, knowing is half the battle. They never told you what the other half was, which I thought was a bit cheap. A popular meme said it was 25 percent red lasers and 25 percent blue lasers — the “bullets” used in the cartoon in place of real ammunition — but I’d like to think the other half is believing.
And while you now know the story from Musk’s side, not everyone believed it.
Some theories were crazier than others. For instance, these people should be checking the labels on the side of their medication bottles more carefully:
Did lil’ X continue beating Elon beyond a punch? There’s several facial scratches, and lots of cracking the old neck injury.
Elon wears makeup often.
He didn’t cover it up.
Instead, he showed it to the world on cameras, alongside the president at the White House.
He wants you… pic.twitter.com/5qDz6ZDXcc— White Rabbit (@WhiteRabbit963) May 30, 2025
Illuminati humiliation ritual?
— Mr. H (@MrHankyPoopoo) May 30, 2025
I actually do think, there is more happening here! I will not fall for the bs stories any longer! Both side play the war game! Good luck understanding it all!
— JangledKeys (@JangledK) May 30, 2025
In between the talk about reptilian humiliation rituals and Illuminati secret torture rooms manned by the ghost of Idi Amin (or whatever), there was some funny discussion in the comments about what actually might have happened:
@grok what is the first rule of fight club?
— AxactlyRight (@AxactlyRight) May 30, 2025
It was really Little X or something this happened? pic.twitter.com/qeT7B4g7YC
— Abdullah Jamil (@AbduullahJamil) May 30, 2025
— 0420 (@FlipCrypt) May 30, 2025
RIP, DMX.
There was also some semi-legitimate talk in the comments about whether or not this has to do with the fact that Musk is, um, a known enjoyer of certain substances that can best be described as questionably medicinal.
While Musk told his biographer that “I really don’t like doing illegal drugs,” he has raved about the use of the dissociative hallucinogenic anesthetic drug ketamine — which can be prescribed for its anti-depressant properties — and a Friday report indicated that his use of substances went a bit beyond that.
The New York Times quoted unnamed sources (seldom a good sign when you’re dealing with the NYT’s coverage, so caveat lector) who said that Musk “took Ecstasy and psychedelic mushrooms” during his stint with DOGE, that his use of ketamine was frequent enough “that it was affecting his bladder,” and that “he traveled with a daily medication box that held about 20 pills, including ones with the markings of the stimulant Adderall, according to a photo of the box and people who have seen it.”
However, in the very next paragraph: “It is unclear whether Mr. Musk, 53, was taking drugs when he became a fixture at the White House this year and was handed the power to slash the federal bureaucracy.” Oh. The report went on to repeat several questionable statements about Musk, including the “gesturing like a Nazi” feint, so whether this was a legitimate question about the substances Musk was using while with DOGE or what he’s allegedly used in the past, according to the kind of sources within the White House that the Times tends to cultivate, that’s anyone’s guess.
In other words, what Musk said was — in all likelihood — the truth. Children horsing around at a certain age will do more damage than you might think; this writer has the torn labrum to prove that, and he is not a ketamine user nor involved with the Illuminati. (Or am I? Mwahahahaha…)
But, you do have to say this for the man: Just like he came in, he went out in interesting style. Bon voyage, Mr. Musk. We’ll miss you — although we somehow doubt this is the last time we’ll be seeing you in this capacity or something similar.
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