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Babylon Bee
The Babylon Bee
22 Apr 2023


NextImg:Wife Informs Husband The Minivan Has Suffered A 'Rapid Unscheduled Disassembly'

TYLER, TX — Local wife Katy Benson called her husband Graham this morning to inform him that the minivan had suffered a "rapid unscheduled disassembly".

"You know, a 'RUD'," said Mrs. Benson to her husband. "Yes, it's very much like an explosion."

According to Mrs. Benson, she was driving home from Lowe's when the tower of Starbucks cups carefully situated in the console finally collapsed, sending coffee flying everywhere. "That's when everything began spinning," said Mrs. Benson. "I tried to achieve separation of my foot from the gas pedal, but something went wrong. Next thing you know - ka-boom! I'm trying to reassure my husband that we at least succeeded in collecting more data for my next trip to Lowe's."

Though disappointed in how the trip turned out, Mr. Benson said the result was not unexpected. "I had placed the odds of her making it without a wreck at about 50/50," explained Mr. Benson. "If she wants to drive all the way to Martin's Cleaners, you've got to start somewhere. We learned a lot today, and we'll be rebuilt and ready for another go in a few months."

At publishing time, Mrs. Benson had been contacted by the Department of Transportation with a new job opportunity.

14-year-old Amy knows what she wants in life: a permanent neck tattoo.