After declaring himself chair of the 2028 Olympic Task Force, President Trump wasted no time in making much-needed alterations to the summer games. Here are eight changes that will be coming when the Olympics heads to Los Angeles:
All gymnastics routines must be performed to one song only, "YMCA": Obviously.
American athlete uniforms will all be a black suit with red tie: Power move.
Trump will sit on a throne like in Gladiator and give a thumbs up or thumbs down for if the contestant lives or dies: YES.
Javelins will now be thrown towards a picture of Jerome Powell: Contestants may also choose Mike Pence.
There will be a new "Best President" competition which is worth 100 gold medals: U-S-A!
Wrestlers will now be allowed to use metal folding chairs: Let's gooooo.
Last-place athletes from other countries will be instantly deported by ICE: We do not tolerate losers in America.
Rhythmic gymnasts must spend at least fifty percent of their performance doing the Trump Dance: The ratings will be off the charts.
Trump has done it once more, making the Olympics great again. Let us know any other changes you want to see.
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