MUNICH — Angry about Vice President J.D. Vance's speech denouncing censorship in the Europe, the European Union has decided to censor all videos of Vance's speech.

"Vance's hateful comments about censorship have no place in public discourse and must be censored," announced German Chancellor Olaf Scholz. "We will not tolerate such hateful rhetoric against our censorship regime."

Vance's speech warned of increasing threats to free speech across Europe, encouraging nations to change course and recommit themselves to the democratic ideal. In response, the European leaders in attendance jammed their fingers in their ears and, each in their own language, yelled, "La la la, I can't hear you! La la la!"

England and the European Union quickly moved to ban all videos of the speech so that citizens would know how seriously they are taking Vance attacking the lack of free speech in Europe.

At publishing time, the E.U. had warned Vance they would throw him in Auschwitz if he continued calling the E.U. "fascist."

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