U.S. — In the midst of an ongoing slander lawsuits regarding allegations that she was born a man, Americans are begging Brigitte Macron to please, please not send them photographic proof she is a woman.

"Brigitte Macron, we know you have been baselessly slandered, but we urge you to please reconsider," said Bob Smith, a spokesperson for America. "Please spare us. If you release these photos, they will be in our social media feeds for weeks, and we'll have to gouge our eyes out with ice picks."

"Please, do not do this."

Law experts agree Macron has a legitimate right to defend herself, but suggest photographic evidence is not the answer. "Take a DNA test," implored Dr. Alex Jensen, a medical expert retained by the defense. "Please. That will suffice. No photos. We beg you."

Macron and her husband have said they still plan to release the photos. Macron has determined to send "as many pictures as it takes" to clear everything up.

At publishing time, President Trump had pledged 300% tariffs on France if it went forward with the photos' release.

Tony asks questions about everything in his life. Is he a crazy conspiracy theorist?