CINCINNATI, OH — A pristine boxed set of J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings trilogy looked on in horror recently as their owner, Ambrose Franklin, sat down to binge-watch the movies for the 25th time.

The mint-condition set of books, which includes The Hobbit and The Silmarillion, has remained unopened since Franklin purchased them years ago. Sources say that they have been forced to endure extreme neglect and pangs of jealousy as they watch Franklin settle down for evening after cozy evening with Peter Jackson's director's cuts.

"What? Oh, the books? Love those things — I keep them right there on the shelf," Franklin explained to one of his friends, as the books shivered, alone and unloved, under a growing layer of dust. "Beautiful stuff, Tolkien wrote. By the way, did you want to try to get through a few episodes of Rings of Power with me? I still haven't caught up on those."

Franklin's neglect has led him to commit several faux pas, according to his friends and relations.

"He thought there was a part of the book where Tolkien talks about cherry tomatoes," said Benjamin Jameson, one of Franklin's friends. "And he keeps posting "You shall not pass! ~ Gandalf" on his Goodreads page. It's really sad."

At publishing time, Franklin's unopened Lord of the Rings set had been joined in their exile by new and unopened editions of Dune, The Space Trilogy, and The Complete Works of Jonathan Edwards.

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