MANCHESTER, U.K. — Police in Great Britain are working to determine the motive of a man named Jihad Jewkiller who attacked a synagogue earlier this week.

"So far we have no idea why Mr. Jewkiller would have attacked a synangoge," U.K. police officer Cecil Landers told reporters. "His social media profile, replete with messages about conducting a jihad against the Jews, has so far been unhelpful. We promise that we will continue to investigate what could have motivated such a surprising rampage."

Jewkiller's family said the man is fueled by deep hatred for members of the Jewish faith and that he often mentioned a desire to do harm to the community, further confusing officers working on the case. "Our leading theory is that evil right-wing extremists were being Islamophobic," explained Landers. "Yet, witnesses report that Mr. Jewkiller shouted 'I hate the Jews! I'm doing this because I hate the Jews,' It's left us with quite the puzzle."

At publishing time, British police had announced that to keep people safe they would go ahead and burn down any remaining synagogues in Britain.

Liberal Brynnleigh witnesses a communist utopia in action!