OSLO — The Nobel Committee has officially announced that President Trump will be awarded the prestigious Peace Prize for getting Volodymyr Zelenskyy to actually wear a suit.

World leaders had tried in vain for years to persuade Zelenskyy to put on pants that zip and wear a shirt with actual buttons. Where so many had failed, President Trump succeeded.

"Trump has done the impossible," said Nobel Committee member Freyre Bilke. "Sure, the suit fit terribly. Yes, Zelenskyy looked like a child trying on something he just found in grandpa's old clothes chest up in the attic. Admittedly, said grandpa in this analogy was a cheapskate who only shopped at Goodwill. Nonetheless, Zelenskyy was in a suit."

Trump will reportedly travel to Oslo in person to accept the award, stating it was long overdue. "It's very nice of them, a tremendous honor. Probably helps my case getting into Heaven," said Trump. "Frankly, I should already have a few of these prizes. All of the amazing things I have done for Christians - Nobel prize. All of the things I did for black people - Novel prize. I really should have gotten one for The Apprentice, many people have said so. These judges, they're kind of idiots, but that's okay. I forgive them. Better late than never."

At publishing time, Trump had been awarded a second Nobel prize for that time he got Elon Musk to comb his hair.

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