WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump laid rumors of health decline to rest yesterday by inviting doubting Democrats to come forward and touch the hole in his ear.

According to eyewitnesses, Trump miraculously appeared in the House Chambers and called for the unbelieving Democrats to step forward and put their fingers to his ear.

"Look, you can put your whole finger through it," Trump explained patiently to dozens of doubting Democrats. "Why do you hang back? Why did you doubt my health? Come forward and feel my ear — it's got a really beautiful lobe, just a fantastic lobe, even though with the hole. Oh you sad haters, you losers of little faith. Blessed are those who have not worried about seeing me over the weekend, but who faithfully read my Truth Social posts and follow them."

Trump also offered to eat several Big Macs and a large order of fries, to show the Democrats that he was still flesh and blood.

At publishing time, Trump had proven his good health to the Democrats by many other signs and wonders before instructing JD Vance to feed his sheep.

Woke Jesus is back with a new collection of socialist teachings for your edification.