What did you do to earn God's mercy? That's right — NOTHING! Nada, zero, zilch. The Babylon Bee theologians have compiled a complete list of all zero of the things you did to merit the forgiveness of your sins.

Look upon this vast bullet-pointed white space, and reflect upon the absolutely nothing you contributed to your own salvation:

Wow! That's a whole lotta nothing! Unless there was an ad there. There might have been an ad there for bunion cream or something. We can't control that. Sorry.

One thing we forgot to mention that you DID contribute to your salvation:

In this instructional video, Chinese soldiers are trained how to shout the wrong pronouns at American forces: