U.S. — A national study has found massive spikes in alcohol sales whenever a Vacation Bible School is hosted nearby.

According to researchers, sales of beer, wine and hard liquor surge over 300% during the week of Vacation Bible School, regardless of which denomination is hosting.

"Liquor stores call it the 'VBS Bump'," said study author Dr. Fred Park. "Whenever liquor store owners start seeing those VBS yard signs appearing, they know it's time to stock up. They know once 'Camp True North' starts, it's game on."

Several churches disputed the findings, stating there was no way their volunteers were consuming that much booze. "The data can't be right," said Church of Christ member Mark Templeton. "Maybe the Methodists get into that wine a little extra, but not us. We feel nothing but joy and peace at the sight of four hundred children descending on our campus. Honestly."

At publishing time, the Catholic Church had also disputed the findings, stating there was no way alcohol sales only went up a mere 300% during VBS.

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