TOLEDO, OH — In a disappointing turn of events, four young siblings exploring their grandmother's attic stumbled upon a magical wardrobe that promised a fantastical adventure, only to discover it led to Toledo, Ohio instead.

"Not the wondrous and amazing world we expected," sobbed 12-year-old Emma Grant. "We pushed through all those smelly old fur coats, but instead of a magical forest, we got a strip mall with an AT&T Store."

The wardrobe initially sparked excitement when the kids heard faint sounds of what sounded like adventure beyond the creaky doors. However, their dreams of meeting a mythical, regal lion or befriending fauns or beavers were dashed as they emerged next to a vape shop and a shuttered Sizzler restaurant.

"I thought we'd at least get a cool prophecy or a sword," said 10-year-old Liam Grant. "Instead, we got a guy named Carl yelling at us to get off his lawn. He seemed weird."

Witnesses reported that the Toledo residents were equally as dismayed to see out-of-towners wandering around their fair city. Residents walked out of their front doors and stared in suspicion as the four British children wandered bewilderedly around.

"Don't like these ones," resident Tom Gates said. "I wonder if they're illegals."

At publishing time, the Grant children vowed they'd never venture into the wardrobe again and promised to stick to playing video games from now on.

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