U.S. — Facing increasing criticism over her handling of school closures around the country during the COVID-19 pandemic, United Federation of Teachers President Randi Weingarten defended herself by saying her actual intention was to open schools in the Opposite World.

"Opposite World is a very familiar concept to those of us who work with children," Weingarten said when asked about her firm stance on closing schools. "It's a world where everything you do and say is the opposite. So, logically, when I repeatedly said I wanted schools to be closed, what I was really saying was I wanted schools to be opened. I can see how people may have misunderstood me, but it really makes sense, trust me."

Weingarten and other education leaders have been under fire as evidence has continued to mount that extended school closures have caused significant harm to children throughout the country. "Yes, American school children are now woefully behind," Weingarten said, "but in Opposite World, they're actually the smartest generation of Americans ever! It's all about how you choose to look at things. In Opposite World, I'm an outstanding leader. See? It's such a fun game to play."

Experts are perplexed about what can be done to remedy the educational deficit American children face in the wake of COVID lockdowns, but there is a broadening consensus that Weingarten may not be the one to lead the way.

At publishing time, Weingarten was still opining about her fascination with the Opposite World, explaining that Joe Biden has made the America of Opposite World the most prosperous and powerful nation on earth.

Here are the 9 best things about being a manly male man.