CORELLIA — Shockwaves were felt across the galaxy this week that experts predicted would be felt as far as the Outer Rim, as a paternity test revealed that Luke SKywalker's father is actually Elon Musk.

Despite the long-held belief that Skywalker's father was the late Sith Lord Darth Vader, the test results provided incontrovertible proof that he was actually sired by the billionaire Tesla and SpaceX founder.

"This is a way more shocking revelation about my father's identity," Skywalker told a HoloNet News reporter droid. "I thought this had all been laid to rest. We defeated the Empire, peace has been restored to the galaxy, and I mourned the death of Anakin Skywalker — who I thought was my father. This paternity test changes everything, though. I'm going to have to rethink my entire life. Should I still be a Jedi, or should I start a couple of companies and buy a social media platform?"

Though he did not directly confirm that he was Skywalker's father, Musk did make cryptic comments that some believe to be related to the news.

"I've never said spreading my seed was limited to only one galaxy," he said. "SpaceX has afforded me the ability to travel to distant places. Coruscant. Tatooine. Naboo. I've spent time in many places and met a lot of beautiful people. Senator Amidala was particularly lovely."

The paternity test also reportedly indicated that Musk's intelligence was likely the result of a remarkably high midichlorian count.

At publishing time, Skywalker said he had not yet decided if he would be legally changing his name to Luke Musk.

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