BATON ROUGE, LA — Local man Jeremy Fillip suffered a grand mal seizure today during the service at Spirit of Fire Rushing Winds Redemption Pentecostal Church, but tragically no one in the congregation noticed as he seemed to just be filled with the Spirit.

According to eyewitnesses, people were getting slain in the Spirit right and left today, leading no one to suspect anything amiss when Fillip began violently convulsing. "We just thought the Spirit was really thrashing today," explained longtime member Brett Fox. "I said to my wife, 'Whoa! Jeremy's really foaming at the mouth with the Word!' His eyes were all rolled back, I thought he must be having a cool vision or something. Boy, was I wrong."

Fillip was taken into the Baton Rouge ER, where he received medical care for a severe electrolyte imbalance and was discharged the following morning. Doctors reportedly have cleared Fillip for normal activity other than shaking around on the ground voluntarily.

At publishing time, sources at Christ Presbyterian Church had just realized that the guy who had been sitting woodenly in the pew for the last five years was actually a mannequin and not a very quiet, spiritual elder.

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