OUTER RIM — Following a sudden rise in rank, Admiral Firmus Piett was faced with his most challenging mission yet: sending Lord Vader an e-mail with approximately five bullet points detailing what he accomplished the previous week.

According to sources, the atmosphere aboard the Executor, the Empire's lead ship in the new Executor-class Star Dreadnought line, has been tense following the sudden death of Admiral Kendal Ozzel. Now the sudden email demand by the Emperor's right-hand man has everyone in a panic.

Lord Vader's request, which sources say is not really a request, to send him a bullet point list of accomplishments from the previous week is reportedly part of an effort to understand the failure of a recent military operation to destroy the Rebel Alliance on the ice planet Hoth and root out inefficient naval crew members, whom Vader will dispose of as he sees fit.

"I don't know what to say!" Piett reportedly confided with his officers, his face stricken with terror. "I just became Admiral. Before that, I just followed Admiral Ozzel around and got him space coffee. I can't very well put that in an e-mail to Lord Vader!"

The admiral's advisors remain divided on whether or not honesty is the best policy at this juncture seeing as the very first thing Piett did was allow the rebels to get away. And then he later delegated to Captain Lorth Needa, commander of the Star Destroyer Avenger, to intercept the Millennium Falcon as it fled into an asteroid field.

"And we all know how that went," Admiral Piett said, doing his best to maintain composure. "How do you lose a ship with a damaged hyperdrive?"

At publishing time, Admiral Piett blamed everything on Captain Needa.

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