U.S. — Americans were not quite sure what former FBI Director James Comey had been indicted for, but they felt very sure that he deserved it.

Most of the nation did not know if indictment details had even been released, but didn't really feel compelled to look into it as Comey pretty clearly had it coming.

"Whatever it was, he probably did it. I mean, it's James Comey," said local man Drake Bennington. "I really haven't paid attention if it was embezzling, selling state secrets, or cooking meth. There's nothing I would put past that tool. I don't know what he's in trouble for, but he definitely deserves it."

According to sources, Comey was actually indicted for lying to Congress, but no one interviewed cared what the precise crime was. "Sure, lying to Congress. I couldn't possibly care," said local woman Lacy Parkinson. "I just know that creepy weirdo should be indicted. For something. Anything."

At publishing time, social media had been flooded with pictures of spontaneous seashell formations saying "Comey deserves it."

Tony asks questions about everything in his life. Is he a crazy conspiracy theorist?