U.S. — In a surprise announcement, longtime Representative Maxine Waters said today that she would be leaving the Democratic Party to join the Whig party.

"Something in her headspace really shifted," said aide Dean Evanson. "The old was just no longer the right fit."

After trying to make repeated adjustments to make her old party affiliation work, Waters decided it was time to give up and join the Whigs. "It's time to put a fresh look on an old party," announced Waters. "I know it's been a long time since the Whigs were on top of things, but I feel confident that I know how to fix the Whigs."

Though the move caught pundits off guard, sources within the Democratic party stated that they long knew of Waters' affinity for the Whigs. "It's no secret Waters has been on 'Team Whigs' for years now," said a congressman on condition of anonymity. "She's just been waiting for the right moment to make the parting move. It really looks like a more natural fit for her."

At publishing time, Waters had announced that the old Whig platform needed to be done away with to make room for fresh, new Whigs.

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