THE AMERICA ONE NEWS
Jul 17, 2025  |  
0
 | Remer,MN
Sponsor:  QWIKET 
Sponsor:  QWIKET 
Sponsor:  QWIKET: Elevate your fantasy game! Interactive Sports Knowledge.
Sponsor:  QWIKET: Elevate your fantasy game! Interactive Sports Knowledge and Reasoning Support for Fantasy Sports and Betting Enthusiasts.
back  
topic


NextImg:Man's Life Going So Well He Has To Find Stuff On The Internet To Get Angry About

NORTH PLATTE, NE — One local man admitted that everything in his life was going so well lately that he was forced to go find stuff on the internet that he could get angry about.

With a loving marriage, healthy children, a stable job, and a church he enjoys attending, Tom Selvin said that he's been so blessed with prosperity and happiness in his day-to-day life that searching the internet for the latest news was the only way he could come up with something to become outraged about.

"Thank goodness for social media," Selvin said. "If it were for the internet, I wouldn't be able to come up with anything to be mad about. After I take inventory of all the amazing blessings I have in my life and things to be happy about, one quick scroll through the news and hot topics being debated online can put me right back in the mood to be angry and start having arguments with total strangers for the rest of the day. I don't know what I would do if I were just forced to sit here and be happy and content and thankful all the time. The internet really is a lifesaver."

Selvin's wife, Shannon, confirmed that Tom's time spent online gave him just the outrage fuel he needed to avoid being too happy. "It's nice that he has somewhere to go to get mad," she said. "No matter how great things are going in our life, there's always something online that can make him mad."

At publishing time, Selvin had to jump online real quick to argue with someone after finding out that he had just received a promotion at work.

Desperate to win back male voters, Democrat strategists propose bold new ideas.