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Babylon Bee
The Babylon Bee
15 Jun 2023


NextImg:Man Diligently Searches Scripture For An Impressive Verse To Share On Social Media

CHERRY HILL, NJ — Local man Fredrick Biel spent time studying the Bible Thursday in his continuing quest for an impressive verse to share on social media, witnesses say.

"He's been at it for a few minutes," said longtime friend Norma Matthews. "Such devotion!"

According to sources, Biel prides himself on regularly posting out-of-context Bible verses on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

"There's an art to it," Biel noted. "Sure, you can read a chapter a day or even spend hours studying a specific topic, but you're never going to get likes that way."

Biel explained he spends most of his Bible reading time frantically flipping pages and skim-reading until he finds something good to post — typically a verse that pairs well with a picture of a tree or inspiring sunset. "I don't usually get likes for judgmental verses," he admitted.

"Oooh, here's a good one!" Biel said abruptly. "It's got everything! Trees, water, an out-of-context promise of prosperity — you name it!"

The devoted Bible student raced to his computer and quickly shared a passage to social media, praying the impending likes will represent souls saved.

He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water,

Which yields its fruit in its season

And its leaf does not wither;

And in whatever he does, he prospers.

(Psalm 1:3)

At publishing time, Fredrick Biel's post had received four likes on Facebook.

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