POMONA, CA — In spite of the life he's built — a loving family and successful career — local man Desmond Carter still daydreams about the glory days of playing video games at the demo kiosk while his mom shopped.

"I've never been able to replicate the high I felt when I played games in the video game section while my mom shopped for clothes," Carter confessed, his eyes lost in the forlorn sea of time. "I got to play Turok even though I was below the recommended age of 17. I got to play Sonic Adventure before it came out. It was awesome."

For Carter, who was recently awarded a trophy for his record-breaking performance as a regional sales director, life had more meaning when he was playing demos of upcoming games on games systems his parents couldn't afford.

In an interview for Sales Performance Quarterly, Carter noted: "I am humbled to be recognized as the top automotive die salesman for 2023. It feels almost as good as the time I played the opening level of Starfox 64 at K-Mart without dying once."

When guns are finally banned in the coming utopia, you may still need to defend yourself on the rare occasion.