Ever wished you could recreate that signature Starbucks coffee taste at home? You can! It's easy, inexpensive, and best of all, tastes just like Starbucks. All you need is a pot of hot water and a heaping mound of cigarette ashes.

First, you'll need to heat up water. Any old tap water will do - simply fill a pot and warm it on the stove until it's hot enough to literally melt your skin off. If it won't burn you on contact right down to your bones, keep heating!

Next, you need to obtain a few cups of cigarette ashes. If you can't score it from a nursing home ashtray, just head down to your local convenience store and get a few packs of Camel cigarettes. Chain smoke those bad boys until you have a solid heap of ash going.

Now, simply place the ashes in a filter and pour the water over it. You will be amazed how much it tastes just like Starbucks, and how much money you'll save. Get smoking!

Meet Juan. He came to this country with a dream to commit crime. This is his story.