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Babylon Bee
The Babylon Bee
11 Mar 2024


NextImg:Letitia James Issues $355 Million-Dollar Fine To Firefighters For Booing Her

NEW YORK, NY — After being viciously booed at an FDNY promotion ceremony last week, New York AG Letitia James has announced she will be issuing $355 million-dollar fines to the perpetrators.

"Last week, I was cruelly assaulted and insurrected by racist Trump supporters," said the Attorney General in a statement. "Our democracy is no place for firefighters to express their displeasure with the weaponization of the justice system against their preferred candidate. I will not rest until every guilty party has been tracked down and brought to justice. With a $355 million-dollar fine. And maybe also prison. Thank you."

Sources say that after James had taken the stage to speak at the ceremony, a large group of attendees booed and chanted Trump's name with full malice aforethought. "I've never been so filled with righteous anger," said Letitia James after the incident. "This was a sacred ceremony, and it was stained by the savage voices of those who are not pleased with the way I'm doing my job."

To make matters worse, sources close to the firemen claim they have refused to apologize. When reached for a response, one of the perpetrators simply said: "WOOOOOOO! MAGA! I LOVE TRUMP!" with no remorse or apology to the Attorney General.

At publishing time, the firefighters had been further punished with 3 months of NY subway duty.

When guns are finally banned in the coming utopia, you may still need to defend yourself on the rare occasion.