WASHINGTON, D.C. — After being snubbed for the Nobel Peace Prize, sources close to President Donald Trump revealed that he had not yet given up hope that he could win a Nobel Prize in Literature for his latest Truth Social post.

"I'm the only president that uses Truth Social, did you know that? The only one," Trump said. "And I've got some real bangers, let me tell you. Take this most recent one about China. I really scorched those Chinamen. It's a long post. Did you see it? It was almost like writing a book. It was really something."

Officially, the Nobel Prize in Literature is awarded to the author of a work which exemplifies "the most outstanding work in literature in an ideal direction." The criteria doesn't specifically limit this to published books and, according to Trump, could therefore apply to outstanding social media posts — of which his are allegedly the most exemplary.

The Nobel Prize in Literature is selected by a committee at the Swedish Academy in Stockholm, Sweden, bypassing the traditionally anti-Trump Nobel Committee in Oslo, Norway, entirely. According to sources, this may give Trump the edge he needs to compete with other authors.

"Trump could soon be standing shoulder to shoulder with the likes of Rudyard Kipling, T.S. Eliot, and Earnest Hemingway," noted former Nobel winner Bob Dylan. "The times really are a-changing."

At publishing time, it was announced that Vice President JD Vance had been awarded the Nobel Prize in Literature for Hillbilly Elegy, reportedly causing a dramatic rift to form between him and the president.

Liberal Brynnleigh witnesses a communist utopia in action!