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Babylon Bee
The Babylon Bee
21 Oct 2023


NextImg:Inclusivity Win: Angel Hernandez Makes History As First Ever Blind Umpire

PHILADELPHIA, PA — In a huge victory for the disabled, Angel Hernandez has made history as the first blind umpire to call a game in Major League Baseball.

"We are so proud to welcome Angel Hernandez as the first ever legally blind umpire," said MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred. "There's a place for everyone in baseball, no matter your level of ability or whether your optic nerves are connected to your brain."

Shouts of affirmation rained down on Mr. Hernandez as he called Bryce Harper out before the first pitch was thrown. "People always said a blind man could never be a Major League umpire, but I wasn't going to let my disability get in the way of my dreams," said Mr. Hernandez, as he wandered into left field. "Now look at me! Take that, doubters."

The analytics team for Major League Baseball proudly reported that over the first five innings, Mr. Hernandez called about 17% of the pitches correctly. "We're really amazed at what Hernandez has been able to do out there," said Mr. Manfred. "Truly handi-capable."

Following the game, Mr. Hernandez state, "I just hope I can inspire other blind people to achieve their dreams, whether it's becoming a pilot, a surgeon, or a Major League Umpire."

Kyle Mann was just minding his own business, when- BOOP! A wild Gender Fairy appeared!