U.S. — The operations of a major candy manufacturer faced significant setbacks this week, as an ICE enforcement action at a chocolate factory reportedly nabbed 475 illegal Oompa Loompas.
The action took place in the early hours of Tuesday morning, as witnesses said federal immigration agents decked out in full tactical gear emerged from a fleet of black SUVs and charged into the candy factory. Some time later, sources said the agents were seen leading large numbers of handcuffed Oompa Loompas out of the facility and into vans.
"We're handing out one-way tickets back to Loompaland," said Border Czar Tom Homan in a statement to the media following the raid. "These companies that willingly harbor and employ illegal aliens have all been warned. We're not messing around anymore. We counted 475 illegal Oompa Loompas working here at this factory, and now they're going to be deported. The law is the law."
Human rights advocates immediately took to social media to condemn the government's action. "These poor Oompa Loompas don't stand a chance back in Loompaland," said one user. "They're just here to make a better life for their families and seek refuge from the wangdoodles and wornswogglers and vermicious knids. It's inhumane to deport them."
Witnesses reported that an Oompa Loompa was heard singing a song as he was led into the van:
Oompa Loompa doompety doo
I've got a public statement for you
Oompa Loompa doompety dee
If you are kind please send help for me
What do you get when you run from the feds?
Cuffs on your hands while you're dragged from your beds
Kicking down doors with their badges and vests
How will we ever get
some
rest?
Now we'll get deported
Oompa Loompa doompety day
If you sneak in from a land far away
You will end up being caught too
Like the Oompa Loompa doompety do!
At publishing time, the Oompa Loompas were reportedly set to be sent to Uganda after the government of Loompaland refused to take them back.
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